Secretly Hoping ~ A thought ramble

Ambassador Tr'gl

Ambassador Tr’gl

Tired, oh so tired
I struggle through
My days, my daze
Fight and push myself
Till all of me pays
The price
Of one good day
May cost me two
Too late now
My eureka moment
Came deep in life
Still, I’m sure, I hope
I have many years
Multiplied by days
Pain, mental fog
Darkness, confusion
Fight me, with me
Stalwart enemies
Guarding, blocking
My desire
My passion
My ability to realize
Late-found abilities
My raison d’être
How guilty, confounded
And unworthy I feel
Lost in my good life

A choice life of choice
Sometimes difficult
Only sometimes
Hard to face
My head twisted
What a product
An unwilling tool
What a fool am I
I love and am loved
My shelter secure
Plentiful food
Copious opportunity
Ready transportation
Fast friends, time
The works; a good life
My good life

How can it then feel
At times so onerous
How can I claim
Any room to complain
My reason argues
When I am in the zone
Creating, fulfilling
My latent promise
Rife with more ideas
Desire, passion
Than time allows
That our world
Our modern times
Desperately forlorn
Invades our days
Selling fear, stress
Discontent, depression

Like one small story
Of a poodle puppy
Rescued from
A recycling yard
Conveyor belt
Cute, but injured
Hurray! A brief ahhh
Until you think
What sick shit
“Recycled” this dog?
Move on, the news
Ever continues, oozing
Murder, rape, anguish
Pedophiles, war, pain
Jihads, terrorists,
Our broken planet
While cosseting,
Protecting the rich
Who’s understanding
Fails to grasp
The simple concept

The wealthy blame us
All the rest of us
For making them feel
Guilty and put upon
Used and abused
“We wouldn’t have
tossed that pup,”
They would say.
“We pay people
To do things
Things like that
For us.”
Like religions
Their so-called
Spiritual leaders
Imbue us with hope
Unproven heaven
Paradise unbelievable
Or use hell
Eternal damnation
To frighten us
Incite us to hatred
Violence, terror, war
In their “God’s” name
Not realizing
They have missed
“God’s” meaning

How can so many
In our suffering world
Endure shit days
Shitty nights
A grueling life
For the promise
They’ll sit on clouds
All day
Every day
Play the harp, sing
Mayhap heavenly
Reward includes
Musical talent
Dulcet tones
What a crock
And how anyone
Could accept
The misogynistic
Masturbation fantasy
Of paradise, and oh
Twenty-seven virgins
For the low, low cost
Of blowing yourself
Into tiny bits by
Suicide, mass murder
If it’s that great
You’d think that
The guys on top
Would be pushing
To the head of the line

Yet I digress
And I depress myself
Wondering, wandering
Why anyone cannot
Understand that our
Hatred, bigotry,
Sheer stupidity and
The insanity of what
We have become
What we do, have
Done to us, our world
Is unforgivable
Yes, the universe
Is overwhelming, but
We face it with fear
Blinders on
Heads in the sand
Thrashing about, in pain
Hoping to hurt, kill
Whatever comes close
As the few upright
A very small percent
Sneak up behind us
Kick us in the ass

Though one tiny group
Stand together
Gazing at the stars
Secretly hoping
To find one place
In the universe
One world
That works right


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