Quitting Time

Watching the news last night
Noticed something, caused a fright
Stories full of depraved, depressing sights
Ads for new medicines, so I will not die tonight

Told who died, was shot, or another dastardly deed
Told I can’t breathe, my ticker’s bad, but they have what I need
A plane’s gone missing, a another new war’s begun; I must pay heed
The side-effects of the drugs they praise, may make me puke and bleed

Or be dizzy, die, or get really sick; I plan to wear dark glasses in coming years
Stuff great big wads of well-chewed bubble gum deep into my ears
With luck and nose plugs, this will allay all my darkest fears
Don’t worry, there’s really nothing we can do, my dears